fucking hormone bomb.

(Meredith is lying on the bathroom floor and Cristina is lying in the bathtub)
Meredith: It's not us, it's them, them and their stupid boy...penises! They didn't tell me they had a wife, they gave me absolutely no warning that they were gonna break up with you.
Cristina: It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it's business, like it's a business transacti--like he's the boss of me.
Meredith: He is the boss of you.
Cristina: What's worse is that I care.
Meredith: I'm gonna throw up again. (rushes over to the toilet on her knees, and Cristina shuts the shower door) No, wait...false alarm. (Cristina opens the shower door again)
Cristina: The problem is estrogen.
Meredith: No, the problem is tequila.
Cristina: You know, I used to be all business, then he goes and gets me pregnant.
Meredith: With the stupid boy penis.
Cristina: Ugh, now I'm having hormone surges! He ruined me, I'm ruined. He turned me into this fat stupid pregnant girl, who cares. Estrogen.
Meredith: Penises. (Izzie and George walk in the bathroom) Penises, Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen, George. (she holds out a cup and Izzie puts water in it)
George (to Izzie): Okay. What'd I miss?
Izzie: I came home to full out vomit drama. Apparently, she dumped Derek. And her, she's been sleeping with Burke.
George: I knew that. (turns to Meredith) So, you really broke up with Shepherd?
Meredith: I feel empty.
Izzie: Yeah, two hours of vomiting will do that to 'ya.
Meredith: No, I feel empty.
Cristina: You're lucky, I feel pissed off.

beautiful and loyal mark darcy.

The most amazing thing happened yesterday.
I was on my typical Bridget's mode, you know, pj's chips and cheese, and that woman thing got me. That paralyzing fear of being alone. But the I remembered... oh my, I'm not alone.
I'm so very glad I'm not alone!
Later in the day, me in the exact same position of course, the phone rang. It rang! And it was him.
He called, just like he said he would. I'm still not over the surprise.
It's not complicated. I don't have to refrain myself from thinking, feeling or saying anything.
I don't have to doubt if he's telling me the truth. I don't have to be looking for someone to forget him.
I don't have to correct people when they say we're together.

It's been so long, and I had gotten used to it.
I don't ever want to get used to something like that again.

And I'm enjoying everything about it like you wouldn't believe.
Every detail, every second. Every word and every silence.
Every part of his self, every inch of his skin.

this is my message to you-ou-ou

don't worry about a thing
'cause every little thing is gonna be alright

a veces siento que me callo tantas cosas.

constantemente y a sabiendas relegando y pretendiendo olvidar tantas cosas.

lo personal tiene una importancia tan sobrecogedora que pasa por encima.

pero no lo olvido. solo lo callo.

.

es cuestión de quien quieras ser. pero no solo.

es cuestión de quien sos intrínsecamente, de ahí las posibilidades.

yo sé y conozco mis posibilidades, y muy a mi pesar las desaprovecho.

excusas hay muchas y ninguna me satisface, porque no quiero una excusa.

.

la inmovilidad y la inercia, que son cosas distintas

en lo personal, no lo apruebo pero lo perdono.

pero en lo otro no. ni siquiera lo acepto.

y no sé no me alcanza, pero además de excusa (que no me excusa), es verdad.

.

puedo decir y aceptar que soy una mala persona.

pero no quiero ser esa persona. me niego a ser esa persona.

no soy esa persona.

a thousand sweet kisses.

prueba para el laburo.. pero quedó tan linda!

hoy.. es un día muy raro.

tal vez tenga que ver con el no dormir.

pero hoy, no estoy.

archive, agenda, dear diary

so many words, so many fights

me es dificil ubicarme en el tiempo presente.

acaso no acavo de dejar a fede?

no estoy indignada por alguna cosa que hizo san?

aquí estoy descubriendo con horror que me enamoré de mi mejor amiga.

pequeñas historias e histerias de la (mi) vida cotidiana.

cómo, cuándo, dónde?

paso 8 horas al día en este pseudo sótano y no es quien soy.

volver, volver a este presente del que parezco tan desatachada.

volver, volver y descanzar.

I'm gonna make it through this day.

     And I'm gonna do it in heels.

..maybe then i can get a good night sleep..

fairy-godmother says.

Not very often, happens that a bad girl lets a good boy in. Now if the boy does his homework, and if she lets him, she may fall for him. And that's when something amazing happens: the bad girl lets down her defenses, opens up and smiles. It's almost mystical, the desire of redemption and the unstoppable need to make the good boy happy.
So the vinegar turns to honey, and a new housewife-wannabe is born.
Sweet little details bloom in every day life, smiling faces on the calendar, maybe flowers on the dinner table. If she can cook, the house will be filled with the smell of home-made cookies or cupcakes. If she can sign, delicious melodies will fly out of her lips. If she goes out, her feet will dance at every corner.
Her smile will be bewitching. Her eyes will always shine. And she'll relive every perfect moment with him in her mind.
She will no longer want to always wear black. And will be thinking of new ways to make him smile.
Oh, she'll be such a good girl for a little while.

and this is where i start to hesitate, where it starts to hurt.

where i'm weak and i look back as a walk away

and i turn to salt.

i have been here before.

on this very day, no wonder.

but i don't wanna be salt.

the temptation to turn around is big, as to stay in my comfort place

to settle for what's familiar. to choose the safe rout i know by heart.

i refuse to settle. i refuse to be a statue.

and there it is, a sunshine waiting for me ahead.

a july morning.

Little girl walking down the street. A green lollipop on her dreamy smile. Turns to look around, stops at a random point and stares with big green eyes. The birds on the trees, the boys going home.
She lies on a street bench facing the sun. She smiles at the leaves and the wind and the sun.

My oh my, would you just look at that girl.

She has been wished good night. And so, she feels she has company enjoying the midday cold.

And in the most platonic of ways, in saying good night, she feels his presence goes with her to sleep.